Imperfection is not the opposite of perfection, as if it is a state that is undesirable. Instead, imperfection is the state of accepting yourself through loving yourself. Without seeing the person you truly are, you get confused on what needs to change within yourself. Perfectionism wears you down by continually holding yourself to maintaining attributes you may not even have within you.
“Accept me as I am” is a saying we all cry out inside. It does not mean that you will not change detrimental habits because you are embracing who you are, or that you are promoting laziness or lack of ambition. What it does mean is that you have taken a look inside of yourself and seen who you truly are. There are things that you like about yourself and things maybe not so much, but it all works together to become the person that you are.
True change in your life is choosing to take those negative parts and work on them through sheer determination. Your life, self-esteem and happiness are not tied to your internal being. Anything changes made from self-hate usually will not last because you made your choice based on the very part that you want to change. If you do not accept who you are from the beginning, the changes you hope to make are even more difficult because you will always be filled with self-doubt about your actions.
There is nothing healthy about that. Accept that for one, every single person in this world has the same self-doubts you do. Obviously not the same specific ideas, but we all doubt something about ourselves. You are not alone in your fears. Learn to value yourself through these few steps that will show you that your ‘imperfections’ are what make you perfect in who you are. Here are five ways to truly be free by letting yourself live as you are.
5 Ways to Imperfect Freedom
- Take some serious time for introspection – Don’t be afraid to look at yourself honestly. Write down what is positive and what is negative in your eyes. Find ways to change the wording of those negatives so they are now positives that you can embrace. One way I compensate for a part of myself is how I dress. I do not like my figure, so I wear clothes that cover yet complement my look. That way I feel confident and good despite not liking my body.
- Discover what you like to do and don’t like to do – Don’t be afraid to say “no” to events or activities that you do not enjoy, but don’t be afraid to say “yes”, either. Make sure your “no” is said with confidence and not fear, as well as your “yes”. You are in control of what you do. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t.
- Try something new – Try a different style of clothing like I did, or change your hairstyle (I got mine cut and dyed my underneath layers blue!….). There’s nothing wrong with experimenting with new looks to accentuate your positives and give yourself a confidence boost.
- Laugh more – Laughter promotes feel-good endorphin release. Take time out to have fun and take a rest. It is hard staying sad when you are laughing!
- Explore your creative side –Are you a “right-brained” person? Find out if you have any creative tendencies. Stimulate that side of your brain to bring out attributes you didn’t know you had. If you find you are not creative, like me, accept it and find what niche does capture your interest. Have some fun trying to figure that out!
Most importantly, allow yourself to be human, flawed and imperfect, and loving the heck out of yourself.
*Special thanks to Alice Seba and Melody Spier